And I Will Let You Go
by Recovering4life
Summary: Ezra told himself that he was going to make sure that she was happy with DiLaurentis. To know that life could on and she wouldn't be miserable. The whole car ride to the city he'd fought himself. Telling himself that he was doing this to close the chapter of period of his life that was long over due to be ended. He'd moved on and he had to make sure she had too...Jaria REPOST...
1. One: Goodbye My Lover

**Author's Note: **

**ALL ERRORS ARE MY OWN:( SORRY!**

**EDITED 12/18/2013**

* * *

_"...I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you..."_

~ "Goodbye My Lover" - James Blunt

**Cha****pter One: Goodbye My Lover**

_**September…**_

Aria stood in the rain fighting her tears.

He hadn't come. Ezra hadn't come for her.

She'd never felt as alone in her life as she did standing in the pouring rain waiting for him. She'd called him…multiple times. Begging him that if he cared for her at all and wanted to be with her to come meet. Her hope was that she meant more to him than just a job. He'd once told her that he'd do anything for her and she believed that. She still believed in his declaration of love, but as the hours past, her hope was beginning to fade.

Didn't he care about her?

How could they go through so much together and only have it crumble away like it never mattered?

Swallowing hard, Aria wiped away the tears that had started falling as everything passed before her eyes in a blur. She thought they loved each other, but in the past few months all Ezra had caused her was pain. All she could feel was her heartbreaking with each passing minute that went by. Drenched and shivering, Aria was more than suprised when the rain stopped hitting her. She looked up to see an umbrella above her. Spinning around hoping to see Ezra, she nearly burst into tears seeing Jason DiLaurentis standing there with a look of concern on his handsome face.

"You alright? You've been standing in the rain for a while now," he asked quietly in a soft tone.

Aria couldn't stop herself as she threw herself at him hugged tightly.

"Whoa!"

Caught off guard, he clutched the umbrella tightly. She cried into his chest not caring what he thought of her. Ezra hadn't come and his rejection stung. Aria never thought that he could hurt her like he was now. It was like he'd opened her chest and injected acid into her heart without warning. Jason's arms went around her and she felt him tuck her to his chest as she sobbed miserably. He didn't ask any questions, but just let her cry as they both stood under the umbrella.

It was like she'd cracked. Every emotion was coming out that she'd been trying to cover for the past few weeks. The fear of Ezra getting in trouble, the apprehension of living in an unstable home, the terror from A, everything was weighting on her and was coming out all at once. Jason's large hand rubbed her back gently. She wasn't sure how long they'd stood there, but her tears slowly subsided and she pulled away from him. Wiping away her remaining tears, Aria looked down at her feet. Wrapping her arms around her thin frame, she turned away from Jason ashamed that he'd seen her breakdown. He didn't need to know all her problems. He had plenty of his own, Aria was positive of it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered miserably, "I have to go."

She stepped out from under the umbrella, but Jason grabbed her elbow and pulled her back under.

"What's wrong Aria?" He said looking at her sadly, "Talk to me."

She bit her bottom lip and tears slowly began to fall down her cheeks again. She thought she'd cried them all away, but she hadn't. Jason wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders and tucked her to his side.

"Come on, let's get you home," he murmured softly as he guided her back to his silver Volvo.

Still holding the umbrella, Jason opened the back door of the car.

"Take off your jacket," he commanded quietly.

Aria did as she was told and shivered even more as the cold evening wind hit her damp arms. Jason grabbed a blanket that had been on the back seat and took her coat, tossing it where the blanket had been. He offered her the blanket and Aria hesitantly took it. Closing the back door and opening the passenger door, Jason held the umbrella over her as she climbed into the car. He shut the door and jogged around to the other side of the car. He closed the umbrella and put it in the backseat with the jacket. Getting into the driver's seat, he turned the car on blasting warm air. She shivered violently as she held out a hand to warm her numb fingers.

"You'll be warm soon. I promise," he murmured as he looked over his shoulder, merging into traffic. Aria's occasional sobs was the only noise that was made on the ride back to Rosewood. As he drove down Main Street in Rosewood, Aria was able to calm herself to the point where she felt confident that she could walk into her house and not attract attention. She looked out the window and took a shaky breath as Jason turned down her street. When he passed her house, Aria turned and looked at him confused.

"Where are you going?"

Her voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk. She watched Jason drive to the end of the street and turn left like they were going to Spencer's house. She was even more surprised when they passed Spencer's house and at the end of the street pulled into the neighborhood park that had been built a few years back.

Jason parked the car and turned the lights and engine off. In the darkness of the night, Aria realized that the small amount of self-control she'd been using was quickly vanishing and the darkness was a comfort to her. She could cry and no one would see her tears or her face. She didn't even know she was crying until she felt Jason's hand cover her own clasped hands in her lap. His thumb rubbed soothing circles into the palm of her hand.

"Aria...what's wrong?" he asked calmly. Something about his voice made Aria's self-control break even more. She trusted him and something in her said that she could tell him everything. He was like a big brother and he'd never her hurt like Ezra had. Even when she'd kissed him, he hadn't tried to hurt her. He'd just accepted that they wouldn't be together, but Aria knew that no one could hurt her as much as Ezra was hurting her.

"Did someone…attack you?" Jason asked worried about what had upset her to the point where she was close to hyperventilating. He didn't want to think that some man had done that to her but if a man had, he promised himself that he'd damn well make sure that the man would pay. She instantly shook her head no and he let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Aria's breathing quickly increased to the point where she was hyperventilating. Jason threw his door opened and quickly rushed to her side and opened her door. He unbuckled her seat belt and turned her so that she was seated sideways on the seat, her feet touching the soft earth outside and the fresh night air hitting her face.

"Breathe," he coached her quietly as he rubbed her knees, "Just breathe, Aria."

It took her a few minutes to calm herself down, but she managed. Jason had gotten tissues from some where in his car and pressed them into her hand.

"Thank you," she murmured softly as she wiped her eyes dry. He nodded and kept quiet, waiting for her to talk. He didn't press her for any details or reasons why she was crying and Aria was grateful. Sitting in the dark park, hearing the crickets and the sounds of nature was relaxing.

"I'm sorry for keeping you from home," she said looking at the digital clock on the dashboard of his Volvo, "I should go."

"You're not keeping me from anything and we'll stay here for as long as you need," Jason's deep, smooth voice said, "I'm not in any hurry, I just want to know why you're upset and if I can help you in anyway."

"Unless you can turn back time, you can't do anything."

"I wish I could turn back time too...but I can't and I'm sorry."

Aria was silent for a long time before she made up her mind to tell him everything. Jason made her feel safe and the fact that he wasn't A, but Spencer and Allie's brother made her feel even more safe. Her body felt like it was being crushed under her secrets and a side of her, she didn't know if it was rational or irrational, told her that by telling someone else it would be easier for her to carry them.

"Ezra didn't come tonight," she finally confessed, "I'd called him hoping that he would come, but he didn't."

"I'm sorry," Jason said, "I know you waited a long time. I was having dinner with my old roommate and I saw you. You waited longer than anyone should."

Aria nodded and fought back tears again, "I met him in a bar before school started last year. We made out in the bathroom and left it at that. I didn't even know he was my teacher until the first day of school. I didn't know that Ezra Fitz was going to teach my English class."

If Jason was shocked, he didn't show it. Instead, he rubbed her hand again and listened as she continued.

"We both tried to stop it, but one thing led to another and suddenly we were together and things seemed right for a while. He got a job offer at Hollis and he took it. He worked with my dad and it was like the world was perfect until I wanted more. I wanted to be able to go out in public and be like a regular couple. He didn't want that. He liked that we met secretly in his apartment and…I don't know…I didn't."

"No one likes being treated like a dirty secret," Jason said softly.

"Yeah, well when we came out to my parents it felt like it was worse than a dirty secret. I have been on complete lock down ever since we told them and Ezra hasn't called me back once. My mom told me that my dad threatened Ezra that he'd go to the Dean if he didn't break up with me. I'd like to think that Ezra loves me more than his job but…I think he's giving up," she cried, "I mean, I keep calling him on Spencer and Emily's phone, but he won't call back! It's like I don't exist to him anymore and he just cut me out of his life and tossed me in the trash. I don't understand! For God's sake, my father had an affair with a graduate student and made me keep that secret from my mother for over a year. Now he's just acting like it never happened and it hurts that he's punishing me for being with Ezra."

Jason was silent and Aria looked down where her fingers were intertwined with him. He had long, thin fingers that reminded Aria of the hands of someone who played piano. A tear fell and hit his skin, but Jason didn't move his hand away from hers. His grip only tightened and she felt so tired in that moment.

"My brother hasn't gotten out of bed in a while. He's so depressed," she confessed, "I'm scared for him and I think he blames me for all the fighting my parents have been doing recently. My mom may have moved back in, but it's back to the way things were before she moved out. They won't stop fighting and it's not helping Mike. I've only made things a hundred times worse for him now."

"You haven't done anything," Jason said, "Mike's problems aren't yours and you can't fix him. Only Mike can work on fixing himself. You're not responsible for Mike or your parents. I know you're like the fixer of everyone, but you can't fix them. If you're parents are fighting it because they choose to fight, not because they have to."

"I feel like it's my entire fault though."

"You're not in control of them or Mike. Let it go and worry about yourself and your problems. Don't try and fix their problems. And if Ezra was a real man and wanted to be with you, he'd have shown up. Tonight you've learned something about him and it's better to learn it now than years down the road."

"Learned what?" Aria asked her voice cracking,"What could I have possibly learned tonight that makes everything better?"

"Any man who loves a woman is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her with him. You are a beautiful, amazing young woman who doesn't deserve a man who isn't willing to sacrifice everything just to have the right to love you in the open instead of hiding you like he's ashamed," Jason said softly brushing a tear away from her cheek with the pad of his thumb, "He isn't worth your heartbreak. No man should reduce a woman tears like this."

Aria leaned forward and cried into Jason shoulder as he held her close. His words only confirmed what she knew inside and had been denying. Hearing it out loud was like the final blow to her heart that shattered it into a million broken pieces.

Jason held her close and for a second time that night lent his shoulder for her to cry on. He'd liked Aria for years and to see her upset was hurting him, but he was grateful he could be the shoulder she leaned on for comfort. Her tears slowed eventually and she pulled way looking exhausted.

"I think I want to home," she murmured quietly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Jason nodded and stood up before dusting off his jeans. He let her get herself back in the car before closing the door and walking back around to the driver's side. He got in and turned the car on to help fight the noticeable chill that had set in from the cold September night. It didn't take long for Jason to get them back to her house and once parked in the drive way, he climbed out with her. Wrapping an arm around her exhausted frame, Jason walked her to the door and knocked. A frazzled Ella opened the door and sighed in relief.

"Thank God! You're alright," she said drawing a damp Aria into her arms, "Byron couldn't find you and we were nervous."

"Sorry mom," Aria mumbled.

"Are you alright? You look like you've been crying," Ella questioned as she inspected Aria closely.

"Mom," Aria started weakly, but Jason interrupted.

"It's my fault. Aria and I ran into each other in Philadelphia and went to dinner. We got to talking and we were reminiscing about Allison. She got upset when I was telling a story about how when we were kids, Allie and I would go up to the lake and swim. I don't think we realized how much we really miss Allison. I'm sorry," Jason said somberly.

Ella nodded sadly and let go of Aria, "I'll go call Byron and tell him that you're here, but I have one question though. What happen to going out with Holden?"

"I didn't want to," she lied quickly, "It's not him it's me and I just…didn't want his company today."

Ella nodded again and gave her a quick hug before moving away towards the kitchen to get the phone.

Aria turned and looked at Jason, "Thank you."

"It's not a problem," he whispered brushing a loose curl behind her cheek, "You know that you're more than welcome to come to my house if you need to get out. Anytime...remember that."

She nodded and gave him a hesitant hug. Jason's strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame and she felt safe. She could feel his cheek pressed against the top of her hair and felt some comfort from him. It couldn't put her broken heart together again, but his comfort eased her feelings of hopelessness and pain.

Jason caught sight of Ella retreating back into the kitchen from the dining room and slowly pulled away from Aria.

"Go get some sleep," he said, "You'll feel a little bit better if you do."

Aria nodded and held onto the door knob, "Thank you again Jason…for everything."

He smiled at her, "You know I'll always be there. Now, go sleep. I'll see you later."

Aria watched him turn and walk down the steps of the porch. She closed the door behind her and quietly climbed the stairs to her bedroom intending to do just what he had suggested.

* * *

Jason walked down the driveway to his silver Volvo when he caught sight of another car parked on the curb across the street. The street light made it hard to see, but Jason could make out the faint face of Ezra Fitz watching him in the silver Toyota. A part of him wanted to walk down the street and punch the man for hurting Aria as bad as he had, but he stopped himself. Ezra had to watch the woman he supposedly loved be in pain and be comforted by another man.

Having been in Ezra's position before and forced to watch Aria be just out of grasp, Jason knew it was punishment enough. Forcing himself to get into the car, he started it and backed out of the drive way. He passed Ezra on the road and looked over at the man. Ezra didn't look up. Jason already pitied the teacher and knew that he wouldn't go after Aria.

Ezra's true colors had been showed tonight and he regretted that Aria had to have her heart broken to see them. He knew from experience that it hurt in the moment, but that heartbreak made a person stronger in the long run.

He was living proof of that.

* * *

Ezra looked down at his lap when Jason's car passed. He was ashamed that he had left Aria in the rain for hours but he hadn't had the courage to get out of his car and walk across the street in the rain. He'd been telling himself all night that he'd been doing the right thing and seeing Jason there confirmed it. His relationship with Aria was too complicated and he didn't even know his own emotions very well. They confused him, but there was one thing Ezra knew for certain. He loved Aria, but loving her shouldn't cost him his job, his teaching license or force him to go to prison. All of which would end any successful career he wanted.

When Jackie had come into his office earlier she'd been right when she'd said that Aria was a little girl with a fantasy. She had a naive vision that everything would work out perfectly and no one would get hurt. It wasn't reality and Jackie had shown him that. Aria didn't need him screwing up her reputation and he didn't need her getting him into trouble with the law. He had no doubt that Byron Montgomery would go to the police with everything and ruin his career the first moment he could.

It didn't matter that Byron had done the same thing as Aria and it wouldn't stop him. Ezra regretted turning down the job in New Orleans, but it was over now. Aria would be out of his life and they'd both move on and be happy. They'd both be in relationships that would work and be healthy. Inside though, a little voice whispered Ezra's greatest fear. He'd always love Aria no matter who came along after her. She had been his everything and hurting her was turning out to be one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but it was the right thing to do.

Love shouldn't be hard and cost him every good thing in his life, Ezra had reasoned to himself again and again. Aria wasn't worth every bad thing that would happen to him. He was saving them in the long run and that's all that mattered. Opening his phone, Ezra texted her a message quickly and sent it. He then began systematically deleting the pictures he had on his phone of her. Scrolling over her number, Ezra paused for a moment before deleting it.

Taking a deep breath and turning on the car, he pulled away from the curb. He drove away telling himself that this was what he had to do to protect both their futures. He could almost hear his heart whispering its farewell into the night.

* * *

Aria finished washing her face clean as her phone beeped. A shower had helped ease the growing ache in her muscles and the call of her bed was becoming harder and harder to resist as she walked across her room to grab the phone on the charger. Turning it over, Aria's heart fluttered seeing Ezra's name, number and face. Quickly opening the message, she cried out as she read it.

_This isn't going to work Aria. The fantasy is over and so are we. Don't contact me anymore. It's better for everyone if we end this now. It was fun while it lasted and that's all it was. Simple fun for both of us. Nothing more and nothing less. It's over._

Dropping the phone on the floor, the back came off and the battery fell out as she collapsed on to the bed. Pain ripped through her heart all over again and if it was possible, her heart broke more.

It was simple fun?

Nothing more?

She understood now what Ella had said about being taken advantage of. That was how she felt. Like Ezra had used her and it hurt more than anything she'd experienced before. She'd loved him and he'd used her as a fantasy that was all in good "fun". A part of her wanted to confront Ezra and hear him truly tell her this himself, but deep inside something told her that it was truly over. Nothing she could do would ever fix what had happened between them in the past hours and the text message was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Curling herself up in a ball, Aria grabbed a blanket and wrapped herself up. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would give her a reprieve from reality and the pain that accompanied it. She heard her door creak open and heard Byron's voice.

"Aria?"

She didn't care that she was supposed to be mad at him. She just wanted her daddy. She wanted her father's comfort and love. Sitting up when she felt him sit on the bed, Aria leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and she hugged him back. He didn't say anything, but they both knew she was crying about Ezra Fitz and they could both hear her broken heart being beaten even more than it already had. His comforting kiss on her head was his way of telling her that he loved her and no matter what happened, he'd always be her daddy and she'd always be his little girl. Aria felt herself slipping from consciousness as she felt her father's soothing hand rub her back and his soft voice saying that he loved her.

* * *

**Yes, I am reposting the edited version of this story! I've gotten lots of requests to put it back up and orginally I was going to publish it, but decided against it. Now, I know I've been away quite a while, but I promise that the The Real Thing will be finished soon! In other news, I have a new Jaria story on the way! It's called Hey Ho and here's a little blurb:**

**Blurb:**

_Married for six years, Jason and Aria DiLaurentis have stalled out in their marriage and have been living like strangers. When Jason, the founder of one of the biggest Crisis Management firms in Pennsylvania, asks Aria for an open marriage, things don't always turn out the way they're planned._

_As the distance between them grows, a tragic accident forces everyone to examine the relationships and decisions made in their lives and realize that it only takes a few seconds to alter the lives around us irrevocably..._


	2. Two: Almost Lover

**Author's Note: **

**ALL ERRORS ARE MY OWN:( SORRY!**

**EDITED 01/12/2014**

* * *

_"...Goodbye, my almost lover_  
_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_  
_I'm trying not to think about you_  
_Can't you just let me be_  
_So long, my luckless romance_  
_My back is turned on you_  
_Shoulda known you'd bring me heartache_  
_Almost lovers always do..."_

~ "Almost Lover" - A Fine Frenzy

**Chapter Two: Almost Lover**

_**November…**_

Jason gripped the steering wheel of the Volvo. He watched Aria as she sat on the swing and gently pushed herself back and forth. Her hair blew over her shoulder in the icy November air that burned the skin when touched. It had been almost a month since he'd taken her home and she looked worse than he'd ever seen her. Her shoulders were thinner and a somber look was always on her face. Jason's mind jumped back to a conversation that he'd had with Spencer earlier in the morning…

_"I'm worried about her!" Spencer snapped as she paced the length of his living room, "We all are! She's stopped responding to texts and calls. She's clearly lost weight and won't eat because she's so depressed! At school, she's like a zombie and every day she skips language arts because she can't even go into the room that the son of a bit-"_

_"I get the picture," Jason interrupted gently. Spencer had wasted no time that morning and had showed up on his door step at seven am with the problem of how to help Aria and the burning desire to beat the hell out of Fitz. Not that Jason could blame her; he had the same desire. How someone could hurt the person they claimed to care about so much was a mystery to him._

"_How are you going to help her?" he asked, watching Spencer clench her fist angrily and stop pacing._

"_That's just it! I don't know what to do! I can't figure out how to draw her out of this…hole she's burying herself in. What should I do? Tell her that everything is going to be okay and procure a rainbow? I'm out of ideas. Short of dragging her out of bed by her hair, I don't know what to do." _

_Jason leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, "I could talk to her but…"_

_"But what?" his sister snapped looking frazzled and desperate for the answer. _

_"I doubt it will help her Spencer. She got burned and sometimes it takes years for burns to heal."_

_Spencer sighed and sat down on the couch next to him, "God, I hope not. She gave him everything…look what he did to her. Please, promise me you'll be a good big brother and beat the shit out of Fitz the first chance you get."_

_Jason nodded, "With pleasure, maybe he'll get as burned as she has been someday…"_

Burned…

Ezra had treated her like his secret mistress and it had to have taken its toll on Aria. She'd been Ezra's dirty little secret and whether or not Ezra realized it, he'd taught Aria that she wasn't worthy of being his publicly. She was really only worthy of being hidden in shame. Jason had learned from Spencer that Aria wanted her relationship with Ezra to be in the open, but he'd denied her that. Ezra had only deemed her worthy enough of being treated to a small apartment and secret meeting in the dark.

Aria was worth and deserved so much more than that. Jason silently wondered if she'd understood that she deserved more and the only solution that she could come up with to banish those feelings that Ezra had taught her was to come clean to her family and the world. It made sense to him that she'd want to be open after having been kept hidden. No woman wanted to feel shameful of herself in a relationship or feel like she was a dirty secret that could only come around after hours.

Jason knew better than anyone that sneaking around and keeping secrets was taxing not only mentally, but physically. Aria had always been tiny to him. His six foot two inch frame overpowered her five foot two inches, but seeing her like she was now…he could understand Spencer's worry. He wondered if the wind was just strong enough to blow her away like a feather.

Just watching her was enough to want to make him hurt Fitz badly. She'd been through enough and deserved some happiness. Aria had counted on Fitz to give her some joy and in the end, she'd only gotten burned by the man. She'd withdrawn into herself so much that Jason wondered if she'd truly ever be the same Aria before Ezra Fitz had tainted her with secrets and shame. He watched her raise her hand and wipe away a tear that threatened to fall.

This was enough.

Fitz's damage had been done, but it was time to start trying to reverse it before it became unfixable. Her friends and family could start helping her place the pieces of her broken heart and life back together one at a time and he'd be the first to do it. Getting out of the car, he grabbed two coffee cups that had been sitting in a drink carrier on the seat next to him. Closing the door quietly behind him, Jason slowly began to walk across the small field to the lonely metal swing set. The crunch of leaves beneath his shoes alerted her to his company and she looked up. Deep dark pools of sorrow pierced his own green eyes as he walked to the swing next to hers and sat down.

"I thought you'd like a hot chocolate," he said offering her a cup, "It's cold out and you look pretty cold."

Aria accepted it and said nothing. She watched him take a sip of his own hot chocolate and looked down at hers. Her fingers were numb from the icy air and she envied his leather gloves that looked warmed.

"Spencer is worried about you," Jason started, "She showed up this morning at seven am ready to go beat down your door with an army she raised herself."

"That doesn't sound out of character for her," Aria said softly, "I'm not surprised."

"Neither am I, but trying to convince her not to do it was harder than I thought it would be. It was like I found someone who was just about as stubborn as Allison."

"She is just as stubborn as Allison," Aria amended before she took the first sip of hot chocolate.

"Maybe you're right, but what I want to know is if you've had breakfast today."

Aria looked up at him, "I didn't have anything if that's what Spencer wants to know."

"I didn't say anything about Spencer. I wanted to know because I want to go get something to eat and I want you to come with me," Jason said standing up and offering his hand out to her, "Just some toast and coffee between two friends as they catch up. It's nothing too strenuous."

Aria debated it in her head for a moment before she stood up.

"Alright, where are we going?"

"The café on Main Street if that's okay."

She nodded and followed Jason back to his car. Slipping into the passenger seat, Aria had to give a tiny smile. Jason's car was always spotless and smelt clean like a freshly bought car. She suspected his house was also the same way, neat and clean. He seemed different from Ezra's organized mess.

Ezra…

A sharp pain in her chest stung her insides, but she pushed it away. She'd cried enough to Jason about her problems and he was probably tired of hearing her sob story. He pulled out of the playground with expert skill. Within twenty minutes, they had parked and inside the warm, welcoming atmosphere of The Brew. The line was short and when she went to open her bag to get cash out, Jason put a twenty dollar bill on the counter and told the man to keep the change.

"You didn't have to do that," Aria mumbled carrying her muffin, "I can pay for my own things."

"I didn't say you couldn't. You're my friend and I'm just treating you out. Next time you can pay," Jason said with a slight smile as they sat down in a corner booth near the back of café. It was quiet for an early morning and the smell of fresh baked muffins, bagels and bread made her hungry.

She hesitantly picked up the chocolate chip muffin and took a bite. Chewing slowly to savor the taste, Aria didn't notice Jason watching her until she swallowed.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just wish more people had that kind of appreciation for a good muffin," he said with a smile and a shrug.

Aria looked down at the muffin and shook her head, "I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelt everything in here. Besides, it's not like we get home cooked meals at home."

"You're parents are still fighting?" Jason asked already knowing from Spencer that things had gotten worse.

Aria nodded, "Mom is threatening to move out again and they're at each other's throats all the time. I almost wish that they'd just divorce so we could all just have peace. Leaving my room is hard. I feel like I'm walking into a war zone with them and I don't know what to do about Mike."

Jason took a bite of his lemon muffin and swallowed, "Aria...I'll keep tell you this until you listen. You aren't responsible for fixing them."

Aria nodded and looked down. She picked at the muffin and sighed, "I know that, but I love Mike and my parents. I just want them to happy."

Jason's hand slowly reached out across the table and took hers. Aria looked at his large, warm hand as it covered her smaller hand.

"Don't we all want the people we care about to be happy?" he said, "Now how have you been?"

Aria curled her fingers around his hands and blushed, "I'm…fine…"

"You know someone once told me that fine stands for fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional."

Aria pulled her hand away, "I'm none of those things."

"Again, I didn't say you were."

"No, but you suggested it."

Jason pulled his hand back and slumped backwards, "I just want to know how you are really. I'm fine is just a lie and we both know it. Aria, please…talk to me. You…you're not well and your friends are worried about you."

"What am I supposed to be like? Happy and jumping around like kangaroo?"

"If you were happy, you would be like yourself. Instead, you've dropped at least ten pounds and you're shutting the world out. Please, talk to me Aria…everyone is worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"I…" Aria sighed and looked down debating. Why did Jason care? A little voice in her head said to stop questioning and just trust him. Taking a deep breath Aria decided to trust the voice, "I'm…not really holding on well. After everything that's happen…I don't really want to be with anyone any time soon. If every relationship ends in this much heartbreak then I don't want to ever be in one again."

Jason gave her a small smile and leaned forward, "I think that you're wrong."

"How am I wrong?"

"You're eighteen, Aria. You have the most beautiful eyes and a smile that could light up the night sky and a heart that's so giving. You can't give up on love and relationships because there is someone out there who's going to love you for you. Giving up on everything is basically saying that you're not worthy of happiness and I refuse to believe that you're not worthy of it."

She looked up at him tearfully, "It hurts so much. How do I get the pain to just stop? It's like every little thing reminds me of him. Hell, this coffee shop reminds me of him and his poetry."

"It doesn't go away all at once," he said softly, "The pain of people, places, things, memories…they all fade with time and eventually you find someone who will erase the pain and everything completely until there is nothing left, but joy in your heart."

Aria looked at him with smile, "Why don't you have a girlfriend? You know exactly what to say to make a girl feel better."

Jason shrugged and smiled back, "I've had a few girlfriends, but no one I've really loved. Besides, the timing's bad right now."

"Bad timing?"

"The girl I like is…dealing with another guy."

Aria smiled at him after taking the last bite of her muffin, "I'm sorry to hear that. She must be crazy not to see how wonderful you are."

He smiled back, "I don't think she's crazy…just lost."

"I hope you don't have to wait long."

"Me too," Jason said, thankful Aria was oblivious to the fact they were talking about her. He cared about her and just wanted her happy even if that giving her up to another man. Seeing her smile had left a warm feeling in his heart. Even if it had only been for a few seconds it had been wonderful to see. Aria's phone beeped and she looked at it. He watched her pick it up and bite her bottom lip.

"I have to go," she said quickly, "My mom needs to see me before she leaves. I've become my parents' carrier pigeon."

Jason nodded and grabbed their muffins and hot chocolate, "I'll drop you off where ever you have to be."

"Thanks."

They put their coats on and left the table. Jason held the door open for her and they stepped out into the frigid November air. Walking to his car, he held the passenger door open for her and she slipped inside. He closed the door behind her and stopped. Ezra's silver Toyota was parked across the street and the man himself was sitting in his car watching them. Jason continued walking around his car to the drive's side. Opening the door, he slid in as Aria looked at him.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said starting the car. He watched Ezra in his rear view mirror get out of the car and cross the street to the café they had just been in. Pulling the car away from the curb, Jason released a deep breath. They had dodged a bullet. He wasn't quite sure what would have happened if Aria and Ezra had run into each other. Looking over at Aria, he hoped that she was okay if she had seen him. The solution wasn't to avoid him. No, she had to find a way to tolerate Ezra, but Jason still wasn't sure Aria could even do that.

Her phone beeped again and she looked at the text message and smiled, "I guess I'm having dinner with the girls Saturday night at that new Italian restaurant on the square, Hanna just texted me demanding my presence there at the appointed time."

"Good. You should go. I miss seeing you're neon heels," he said with a smile as he stopped at stop light and hoped that Ezra hadn't seen Aria.

* * *

He could see and wasn't blind to those dark locks that had disappeared into Jason DiLaurentis' car. Putting one foot in front of the other, Ezra walked into the café. Aria would get over him. She was young and by the looks of it, already had another suitor in Jason. If she was with him it wouldn't be like their relationship.

With Jason, she could be in the open and her father wouldn't be breathing down anyone's neck. Ezra had to acknowledge that his own ass wouldn't be on the line either. In the past month, it felt like he could breathe again. He wasn't paranoid about the cops showing up at his door to arrest him or people watching him.

Even with his emotions and thoughts muddled to the point where he could barely understand them and interpret them, breaking up with Aria had been the right thing to do. It gave him back security and peace of mind about his job, career and guaranteed he wouldn't do any prison time, but it still wasn't fully satisfying and he knew why.

He loved Aria.

Paying for his coffee and sitting down, Ezra stared at the blank wall. The voice in his head that said he could never stop loving her had been right. He loved her and because he loved her, he needed to let her go and move on. It wasn't healthy to obsess about something he couldn't have and Aria was something he couldn't have. He needed to stop this insanity and move on. He'd already ended things with her and dwelling over the past didn't help. Closing his eyes, Ezra reached into his pocket and took his phone out.

Jackie.

She'd been hinting for the past few weeks that she wanted to get back together with him. Aria had helped him to get over Jackie, maybe Jackie could help him get over Aria. Opening his eyes, Ezra knew what he had to do. He couldn't hang onto Aria any longer. He'd made his decisions to protect himself and his job. In order to finish what he had started, he had to destroy any feelings he had left for Aria.

Scrolling through his contacts and stopping at Jackie, Ezra took a shaky breath. Hitting send and bringing his cell phone to his ear, he waited.

"Hello?" Jackie said picking up on the second ring.

"Jackie…this is Ezra… I was, uh…wondering if you want to go out to dinner with me. I know Rosewood has this great little Italian restaurant that just opened on the square recently if you wanted to go," he answered nervously. Part of him wanted to be rejected and the other part wanted her to say yes.

"Sure. When did you want to go?"

"Does Saturday sound good?"


	3. Three: Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

**ALL ERRORS ARE MY OWN:( SORRY!**

**EDITED 01/15/2014**

* * *

_"...Never mind, I'll find someone like you_  
_I wish nothing but the best for you, too_  
_Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said_  
_Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah_

_Nothing compares, no worries or cares_  
_Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made_  
_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_  
_I wish nothing but the best for you_  
_Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said_  
_Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..."_**  
**

~ "Someone Like You" - Adele

**Chapter Three: Someone Like You**

_**Three Days Later…Saturday…**_

Aria smiled to herself as she looked at the reflection from tall mirror in her room. The blue dress she wore was strapless and knee length. A thick black band accentuated her tiny waist and silver earrings paired with silver and black bangles accessorized her outfit.

"You look happy," Ella commented as she stood in the doorway watching her daughter.

Seeing her mom, Aria turned and smiled, "Do I look alright?"

"You look beautiful. Where are you going?"

"The girls and I are going out to dinner at that new Italian restaurant on the square. I'm meeting them there in twenty minutes," Aria said grabbing her silver clutch and keys.

"What time will you be home?"

"I don't know really. Don't wait up."

Ella nodded and stepped aside as Aria left the room. At the last second, Ella reached out and grabbed her daughter's hand. Looking at each other, she pulled Aria into a hug.

"I'm glad you're going out. With everything that's been going on, I'm happy to see you smiling again and doing things with friends. Your Dad and I…we know things haven't been good, but we do see that you're upset and we're glad that you're coming back from everything that has happened with Mr.-"

"Thanks," Aria interrupted. She didn't know if talking about Ezra was a good idea. She was genuinely happy and didn't want to ruin it. Going to dinner depressed wouldn't be a good idea. The girls shouldn't have to spend their night out trying to cheer her up. For once, she wanted to be happy for them. Smiling at Ella, Aria kissed her cheek and hurried down the hall.

Leaving the house because she wanted to go somewhere, not because she had to leave, felt freeing for the first time in a long time. She smiled starting up her Altima and backed out of the driveway. Seeing Hanna, Emily and Spencer was going to be enjoyable. She'd even worn the bright heels that Jason had said he liked.

* * *

Ezra forced a smile at a bad joke Jackie made. It really hadn't been funny, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying otherwise. He'd always thought that Jackie was pretty, but there was a sparkle in her eyes that he hadn't seen since before they'd broken up.

"Are you and Byron going to be doing that Russian literature class next spring?" Jackie asked before taking a bite of her chicken.

"Yeah, it should be interesting," Ezra replied quietly.

"At least he won't be threatening to kill you since you're no longer dating his daughter."

The look on her face was almost malicious towards him.

"I don't think he'll like me anyways. Never has, and he never will," he said diplomatically. He wasn't going to rise to her bait. He wasn't going to sit and engage in trash talking Aria. It wasn't worth it.

"You never know. You could grow on him!"

"I don't-"

He knew that voice. He'd heard it before many times and he'd never forget it. Looking up, he spotted Aria being seated a few tables away from them with her friends. She looked beautiful in a blue dress. Her hair was pulled up in a French bun baring her neck and shoulders. He could remember the feel of her skin beneath his lips and the perfume that she wore at the base of her neck. A swift kick to his shin brought him back to present.

Jackie looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Are we going to get dessert?"

"Uh…sure," he mumbled reaching beneath the table to rub his bruised shin.

"We'll get the chocolate cake," she smiled at the waiter handing back the menu, "Thank you."

Ezra could tell she was pissed at him. He didn't blame her. If the woman he was on a date with was pining after another man, he'd be angry too.

Jackie gave him a tight smile, "What else is new?"

It was impulsive, but Ezra knew that in order to get over Aria it would take drastic measures. They couldn't be together and he knew that. Could he just…imagine Jackie was Aria? They looked alike almost. Same dark hair and eyes…

He was insane, but he knew that in order to get over Aria he'd have to do whatever it took.

"Did you want to go back to my apartment after this? I have this book I think you'd really like."

Jackie smiled, "Sure.""I think I'll just get a salad," Hanna said browsing the menu.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "That's all you ever get. I'm getting a bowl of spaghetti."

"That's what I'm getting," Emily joined in closing her menu, "Does Toby have anything tomorrow afternoon?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"I broke a door handle," Hanna interjected, "Now, I have to fix it and Emily thinks Toby is the best man for the job."

"Jason is good with his hands," Aria added in quietly.

Spencer stared at her from across the table while Hanna chuckled.

"What?" Aria asked feeling confused.

"What have you been doing with Spencer's brother to know that he's good with his hands?" Hanna teased with a smirk.

"Oh, please," Aria groaned, "I've done nothing with him. I saw that he's been remodeling his house and it looks good. I figured he could help, if needed."

Hanna winked at Aria, "Okay, but admit it when he's working outside in his flower beds...he's sexy as hell. It should be illegal for him to be outside without a shirt."

"Shut up," Spencer snapped, "I don't need images in my head of Aria and Jason making out. Besides, he's my brother and I don't need to know my best friends think he's hot."

"He is hot, Spencer," Hanna defended, "You might be related, but still...he's cute. Besides, Aria is single now and is more than welcome to taste the different flavors."

Aria blushed, "I don't intend on dating for a while. Besides, Jason is just a friend."

"That's what you think."

"He is! What else would he be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe he's a guy who likes you, but knows you're not ready to commit and is waiting for you?" Hanna reasoned.

"That's not true and you know it," Aria protested, "He's just a good friend and-"

She stopped as she saw them. A dark haired woman held a spoon up to his mouth and Ezra took a bite smiling. A piece of chocolate frosting was on his lower lips and the woman reached over with her napkin and wiped it off.

It was like someone had dumped ice water on her.

He was on a date?

How…

Spencer looked at Aria confused until she looked over her shoulder and saw Fitz as well.

"I'm going to the restroom," Aria mumbled quickly grabbing her clutch and fleeing. Ezra looked up and saw her. His eyes drifted towards her over his date's shoulder and met hers. He looked at her and her heart dropped. Ezra's eyes quickly moved from her back to the woman. It was a clear dismissal of her and it stung just as strongly as it had a month ago.

Hurrying down the narrow hallway to the bathroom, Aria pushed the door open blindly. She leaned back against the closed door and was fighting tears. How could Ezra claim to want to be with her and then get over her just like a snap of his fingers?

He was on a date!

Looking up at the ceiling, Aria blinked quickly.

"I'm not going to cry," she reassured herself, "Ezra isn't worth crying over."

Someone pushed the door open and Aria stumbled forward. Turning, she came face to face with Jackie.

"Hello, Aria."

"Hello, Jackie," she said watching the other woman walk to the mirror.

Jackie opened her clutch and took out a tube of lip stick. She uncapped it and smiled at Aria in the mirror.

"I saw you having dinner with your friends. How are they?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't. I was just being polite," Jackie said applying the ruby red lipstick, "Besides, I have to get back to my date with Ezra."

"You're on a date with Ezra?" Aria asked shocked that he'd take his ex-fiancé out on a date.

"Who did you think he would take? Contrary to what you think, Ezra and I have always been very close. He called me earlier this week and asked me to dinner as a date and I said yes. Is that a problem? I thought you two were over?"

Jackie had not only stabbed her, but was twisting the blade to draw as much blood as she could. Aria nodded hearing her mother's voice in her head saying to be the adult, "We are over. He's all yours."

With that, Aria flung the door open and left. She quickly made her way back to the table.

"What's wrong, Aria?" Spencer asked worriedly as Aria grabbed her coat.

"I have to go," she replied as her voice broke, "I'm so sorry."

"Aria…"

"Stop," Emily said grabbing Spencer, "Look."

Spencer looked over to where Emily was pointing at Jackie coming back from the restroom.

"That bitch," Hanna hissed as Spencer grabbed her bag and coat. Spencer glared at Ezra as she left the restaurant, following a distraught Aria. Hanna smirked as Ezra sank into his seat more under Spencer's glare.

"Can we get the bill?" Emily asked flagging the waiter down as Hanna stood up, "Where are you going?"

"To yell at Ezra," Hanna mumbled to Emily as grabbed her full milkshake and marched away towards Ezra's table. It would be an event Rosewood would talk about for weeks to come.

* * *

"Aria! Stop!" Spencer yelled as she crossed the street to Aria's car. She grabbed her just as Aria was going to open the door.

"Look at me. What happened?"

"She was just there to rub it in," Aria sobbed, "She's there with Ezra and wanted me to know."

Spencer hugged her tightly, "She's nothing but a bitch Aria. She and Ezra deserve each other. Okay? Come on, I have an idea."

Both girls got into Aria's car with Spencer driving.

"Where are we going?" Aria asked as she made a poor attempt to fix her mascara that was starting to run.

"To your house, then we're to the lake house for an evening of fun."

"The lake house, why?"

"Swimming," Spencer said with a smile, "The pool is heated and it will be a guy free zone."

Aria made a small smile, "Guy free zone?"

"Yep, no one is allowed to mention boyfriends or dates or anything related to the opposite sex. This is non-negotiable too, so you're coming. In fact, when we get to your house I'll call Hanna and Emily and tell them the plan."

"Okay and Spencer...thank you," Aria whispered looking back out the window.

It didn't take them long to pull into Aria's driveway. Both getting out, they silently went into the empty house. Aria went up the stairs to her bedroom while Spencer paced in the living room making calls. Flipping on the lights, Aria grabbed a bag from the closet and quickly threw in a change of clothes and a bathing suit. Looking for the rest of her things, Aria knocked a stack of books over.

"Shoot," Aria said softly seeing the book Ezra had given her. Picking it up, anger struck. He was no better than A. He'd broken her heart and every time she cried over him, she gave him control. Sure, he was cute, nice, funny…but everyone had been right. Ezra cared only about himself. He'd rather protect his job and his ass than be with her. He'd had been afraid of the world, but now Aria could see that he wasn't afraid for them, he was afraid for himself.

Afraid what people would think of him. Not them. He only cared about his career, his job…

Did he care what their relationship had cost her? It had nearly ruined her relationship with her parents and brother. It had led her to lying to those she loved the most. It had led her to meeting him in an apartment and shutting herself out from the world. She was worth so much more than that. Ella had once told her that the right man wouldn't make her lie to her family and friends. The right man would only every make her cry tears of happiness, joy, love…never tears of sorrow.

Ezra wasn't the right man. He was just a heartbreak that she would and could get over. He was her past and not her future. She deserved of a good man and true love. She deserved a guy who would openly hold her hand in public regardless of what others thought. She deserved a guy who'd love her even when the world was against them. She deserved a man who'd keep her heart next to his and would always protect it from the hurt of the world.

Grabbing her bag, Aria left her room with the book. Walking down the steps and past Spencer, she opened the side door and went straight to the garbage cans. Opening the lid, she tossed the book into the trash and smiled.

She deserved to be happy.

She was worthy of being happy.

"Ready?" she asked Spencer who stood on the steps in shock.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Hanna laughed as she paddled away from Emily who splashed her,"Stop it! You're getting me wet!"

Aria joined in and laughed when Hanna screamed in frustration at her hair getting wet.

"Chill out, Hanna," Aria smiled.

"What is that what I think it is?" Emily teased her.

"What?"

"You smiled!" Hanna grinned, "For the first time in months that was a genuine, unforced smile."

"So?"

"What happened that made you go from having an emotional break down at the restaurant to smiling like a goof ball?" Emily questioned.

Aria sighed, "I realized that Spencer was right. Ezra and Jackie deserve each other and that I can't keep myself from happiness. I deserve it just as much as anyone else. That and I think I've seen what Ezra is really like and I don't deserve to be treated like he's treated me. So, I will strive to be happier and maybe…eventually be with someone who loves me completely and unconditionally. I'm worthy of a good man. I don't have to settle with anything less than what I deserve."

Spencer smiled, "I'm glad that you've finally figured it out."

"Me as well," Aria agreed, "Now, who wants a drink?"

Hanna raised her hand, "I do! I'll help you make something."

Emily went to follow the pair as they got out but Spencer stopped her.

"I need your help."

"What?"

"I'm breaking the furnace…"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I have a theory and I want to test it."

"Is this about Toby?"

"No, Jason."

"Jason?" Emily asked confused.

Spencer nodded as they got out of the pool, "Whenever I see him he's always asking about Aria and whenever you say his name to her, she is instantly happy even if for a few seconds. I think he's never gotten over that crush of his or that kiss."

"You think that she likes him as well?" Emily asked surprised, "Spencer, she just went through a nasty break up. Getting together with someone isn't the best idea for her right now."

"All great relationships start in friendship. Think about it. He comes up here, she's happy to see him. She keeps him company while he fixes the furnace and if I know Jason, he'll be thrilled to get to spend some one-on-one time with her."

"This just doesn't sound right."

"Emily, it isn't a date. We're just setting the stage for them to spend the evening together catching up."

"Fine."

"Great, let me get my field hockey stick."

Emily raised her eyebrows as she wrapped her towel around her, "I'm not touching your furnace."

* * *

Jason had been watching the evening news and eating dinner when Spencer had called him. She'd begged him to come up to the lake house claiming the heater wasn't working. After listening to her beg and plead for ten minutes, he caved.

Pulling his Volvo in next to Emily's Toyota, Jason opened the door and grabbed the bag of tools he'd put on the floor behind his seat. The house was cool and he could tell that they'd been swimming. A few towels were haphazardly thrown across the couches in the living room and Spencer's hair was still wet.

Quickly showing him where the basement was and the heater, Jason shook his head as she quickly returned up stairs. He'd been so involved it trying to fix the damn thing that he didn't even see her until she'd sat down on trunk next to the bag of tools.

"I hear you're going to be the savior of the heating unit tonight."

"It looks that way," Jason said trying not to look at how the bikini she was still in created perfect cleavage. Aria was wrapped up in a warm microfiber blanket and she smiled at him.

She looked…happy.

"How bad is it?"

"I don't know honestly. Spencer just said that it wasn't working."

"Yeah, we came into get drinks and it was working fine when we went back out to swim. When we came back in you could tell the heater wasn't working. It was chilly."

"Well, hopefully I can figure out what's wrong. I hope it's something basic so you girls can stay the night. Pass me the flash light," Jason murmured. Aria took the flash light out and passed it over. Turning it on, Jason instantly spotted the problem. Spencer's field hockey stick was wedge in the power box stopping the heater from turning on from the upstairs control.

It was clever…really. Jason had to give Spencer props. He'd give her a ten for creativity.

"Is everything okay?" Aria asked anxiously.

Jason looked over his shoulder and his breath caught in his throat. The blanket had fallen off her shoulder on one side and he could see the faint outline of her breast through the red material of her bikini top. Her nipple had pebbled from the cold air and he could feel himself become aroused in the darkness of the basement.

"Stop it," he mumbled to himself. He might be attracted to her sexually and want to be with her, but it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. They weren't even together and he was sure Aria thought of him as a friend, not a potential boyfriend or lover.

"Sorry?" she asked confused.

"I said that the problem is simple, it just may take some time to fix."

Aria smiled, "Can I stay and keep you company?"

Her smile made him stare even more. It was a genuine, happy smile. Something he hadn't seen in a long time. Her smile brought a smile to his face and he nodded, "Sure, but you have to tell me one thing."

"What's that?"

"What happened at dinner and how did you end up swimming at Spencer's house in November?"

Aria bit her bottom lip, "It's a long story."

"We have time," Jason smiled.

* * *

Ezra lay back in his bed staring at the ceiling. He could remember Hanna's words to him before she'd poured her milkshake over him.

_You disgusting pig. How could you break her heart?_

He felt guilty. The look on Aria's face when she'd seen him with Jackie would scar his memory. She'd looked so…sad. It had hurt him to even look at her face.

Her eyes…

Jackie shifted in her sleep closer to him. Her naked body pressed against his side. Closing his eyes, Ezra took a deep breath. Aria wasn't in his life anymore. It shouldn't matter to him what she thought, felt or wanted. They weren't together.

Jackie's lips pressed again his neck, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Ezra murmured as he rolled them over so he was on top. His lips quickly met Jackie's and he lost himself in her pushing all thoughts of Aria out of his mind.

She didn't matter.

* * *

Jason pulled the field hockey stick out and Aria raised an eyebrow.

"That's what was wrong?"

He nodded, "Yep."

"That shouldn't have taken an hour to fix. More like ten minutes."

"Yeah...well, figuring out how to get it out was the issue. Besides, you were distracting."

"I'm sure that I was," Aria said drily.

Jason watched her stand up and impulse took over.

"Did you want to go to that frozen yogurt place in town tomorrow afternoon?"

Aria looked at him nervously, "Like a date?"

"Like two friends getting ice cream and catching up."

"Everything with you is catching up."

"Everything about you is hard to keep up with," Jason replied with a smile, hoping she said yes.

Aria shifted nervously, "I guess we could go. What time?"

* * *

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	4. Four: Big Girls Don't Cry

**Author's Note: **

**ALL ERRORS ARE MY OWN:( SORRY!**

**EDITED 01/30/2014**

* * *

_"…I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do_

_And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket_  
_But I've got to get a move on with my life_  
_It's time to be a big girl now_  
_And big girls don't cry_  
_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry…"_

~ "Big Girls Don't Cry" - Fergie_  
_

**Chapter Four: Big Girls Don't Cry**

Jason held open the door to the frozen yogurt parlor for Aria as she walked in. By the time he'd finished working on the heater, it had been well after midnight. Spencer had offered him the couch in the living room to sleep on and that morning Aria had gone down with Hanna to make breakfast. She was in firm agreement with Hanna that a shirtless Jason was a sight. He'd come into the kitchen wearing nothing, but the jeans from yesterday and they had sat low on his hips.

He'd poured himself a cup of coffee and had left the kitchen mumbling to them that he was getting a shower before all the girls used all the hot water. Spencer had entered the kitchen as he left looking straight ahead. The siblings said nothing to each other. Hanna had laughed as Spencer, just like Jason, had gone straight for the coffee. They might not have looked alike, but Spencer and Jason had some of the same mannerism that clearly identified them as siblings. Breakfast had been finished by nine and by eleven thirty everyone had been ready to leave. Aria had ridden back to Rosewood with Spencer and plans to meet Jason around three for frozen yogurt.

Stepping into the ice cream shop, Aria had to bite her bottom lip. The place was a popular hang for the kids in middle school and their 'dates'. The shop was unreasonably busy which surprised her. Usually, the shop was deserted in the winter months, but they weren't for some odd reason. Both she and Jason looked almost out of place among the younger crowd. A few of the younger girls giggled in the corner and pointed at him. Aria smiled to herself. They must have thought he was tall and handsome prince, which he was. She could remember being their age and thinking the same thing about him.

"What can I get for you, dear?" the older woman behind the counter asked with a soft smile.

Aria stepped up and smiled, "Could I please have a small cone with vanilla yogurt in a bowl?"

The woman filled their orders quickly and they paid before making their way to a table at the front of the shop between two groups of middle school girls who stared at them and whispered.

"I feel like I'm back in middle school," Jason said taking a bit of his mint chocolate chip yogurt.

"I think we're very out of place. Besides, they think you're a cute older guy. You're like their teenage fantasy."

Jason shook his head, "Girls are strange creatures…especially when you put them in a group."

Aria raised her eyebrow, "Do you think I'm strange?"

"No," he said with a smile, "I think that every girl, but you and Spencer, are strange."

"Good save."

Jason laughed, "Thanks!"

* * *

The hour passed pleasantly.

Aria barely realized that it was close to four-thirty when her brother texted her asking her to come home. She'd been so engrossed in conversation with Jason that she hadn't been paying attention.

Being with Jason was different. She'd seen a different side to him that she'd never seen. He had a wicked sense of humor and could tell a story unlike anyone. He'd made her laugh more in one hour than she had in the past few months combined. When he'd told her a few stories from college she was sure her sides would ache for the rest of the day. Her favorite story had been about when his roommate Charlie had the brilliant idea that to make spare cash, he'd teach girls the art of kissing. But when one of the girl's boy-friend found out about it, Charlie had gotten punch in the face and it had swelled so badly that he had to close up shop permanently. Aria had laughed so hard that she'd cried.

Walking out the door with Jason, she smiled at the ground. She liked being with him and just talking. Jason was easy to talk to and be with and she enjoyed that. Nothing about it felt awkward or forced. It was light hearted and freeing to sit with him and talk out in the open. Unlocking her car, Aria's smile broadened at the thought of next weekend. Jason along with Toby and Spencer were going to a photography exhibit at the Philly Art Museum and he'd given her the fourth ticket asking her to be his 'date' for the night.

No one could wipe the smile off her face as she pulled away from the ice cream shop.

* * *

Ezra watched Aria get into her car. He'd seen her inside the ice cream shop with Jason and he couldn't believe that she had been with Jason DiLaurentis. He couldn't understand why she'd want to be with him. Everything he'd heard about Jason DiLaurentis was bad. The guy had been a stoner and a general creep in high school. So, why was Aria with him?

A rational part of him said that it wasn't his business. Why should he care who the hell she dated? A second more irrational part of him said that he loved her and that should be enough reason to go back to her and care.

Shaking his head, Ezra turned his car off. He couldn't be with her. Not when she could cost him everything he'd ever worked for. Jackie was who he needed to focus on and the potential future they could share together. Watching her pull away, he got out of the car and turned seeing Jason DiLaurentis parked behind him.

"Jason," Ezra said hoping the other man hadn't seen him watching Aria.

Jason didn't say anything, but gave his usual cool nod and opened the car door of his wouldn't be the first time that Ezra would watch Aria leave a place with Jason and it wouldn't be the last. As the month of November passed, Ezra saw Aria with Jason more and more. Rosewood was too small a town to avoid anyone and Ezra kept wishing it was bigger. It was painful to watch Aria with Jason. They would go to exhibits and parties around Rosewood. They'd go to movies, dinners, sit in coffee shops and talk along with other things. Each time he saw them, Aria glowed more and more with happiness and while a part of him knew he should be happy for her, Ezra was bitter. The only thing that added even more to Ezra's bitterness was the silent looks Jason would give to him if they saw each other. With each look, Ezra realized that the looks were those of pity.

Jason DiLaurentis pitied him and it was humiliating.

Opening the door to a local coffee shop, Ezra felt nauseated by all the Christmas décor. Everyone was happy and cheerful and he felt miserable. He had been miserable for the past month. Sure, Jackie was a wonderful person and he liked her and he was happy, but it was a false happy. The kind of happy were people smiled and the smile never quite reached their eyes.

Waiting in line, Ezra heard her voice before he saw her from the corner of his eye. Aria walked in from the cold with Jason behind her.

"I'll get the coffee and muffins if you want to get your mom's present," Ezra heard her say. Jason must have agreed because he let shortly after. He could hear the click of heels on the wooden floors behind him. When the noise stopped, Ezra knew she was behind him. He could smell the raspberry and flower scent that was her perfume. He would never have picked it out for her, but the scent was hers.

"There you are!" Jackie exclaimed walking over to him. She gave Ezra a dramatic kiss on the lips that was meant to hurt Aria. He was angry, but there was nothing he could do.

"Oh, hello, Aria," Jackie continued. She sounded fake and all three of them knew that Jackie didn't care anything for Aria. Ezra turned around to see her. She was just as beautiful as he always thought. Her hair was shorter from getting it cut and she looked happy.

"Hello, Jackie," she responded politely, "I believe it's your turn."

Ezra turned around to where Aria had pointed and it was indeed their turn. Jackie suddenly brought her hand to her mouth and rushed away.

"Is she alright?" the cashier asked concerned and a frown, "She's not sick, is she?"

"It's probably just the bug," Ezra said, "Can I have two coffees?"

He paid and stepped aside to the pickup line to let Aria order, "Can I have two coffees and two chocolate chip muffins?"

Aria paid and moved over to stand beside him. Silence filled the space between them. Ezra gulped and desperate to know more opened his mouth.

"How's everything going?" he asked nervously.

Aria turned and looked at him, "Good. Jason and I are going to Philadelphia today. How's work going?"

"Good."

They watched Jackie exit the bathrooms only to turn around and quickly run back in.

"I hope she's okay," Aria mumbled, "It's a bad time of the year to get sick."

"She's been sick for the past week," Ezra replied with a shrug, "Hopefully, some medication will help. I'll drop her off at the drug store on my way to the book store."

She nodded at him and said nothing. The sound of the bell above the door ringing alerted them both. Jason walked in carrying two bright pink bags. He spotted Aria and walked over.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked with a soft smile.

Jason nodded, "Yep. Did you get chocolate chip muffins?"

"I did. Can you wait in line for me? I'll be right back."

The tall man took her place in line slightly behind Ezra and was silent. Jason DiLaurentis had always seemed friendly to Ezra, but the truth was that the man's continued silence towards him put him on edge.

"Aria said that you're going to Philly," Ezra said trying to ease the uncomfortable silence.

"We are."

"Where are you guys going?"

Ezra knew he'd over stepped his bounds when Jason stiffened.

"We're going to go see a movie with Spencer and Toby," Jason finally said as the man behind the counter called that the order with two coffees and two muffins was ready. Jason grabbed their order just as Aria reappeared.

"Ready?" she asked as Jason handed her a cup of coffee.

"Yep, you?"

Aria nodded and smiled at Ezra, "It was good to see. Have a good holiday."

Watching them leave, Ezra grabbed the coffees he'd ordered and snorted.

What did Aria see in Jason?

Jackie came back looking troubled, "Can we go now?"

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and Aria smiled taking a sip of the hot cocoa Jason had gotten her. Walking around the square with him, looking at different ice sculptures, was the most enjoyable thing she'd enjoyable she done in a long time. Standing next to Jason, Aria smiled admiring the enchanted Rose that had been carved symbolizing Rosewood.

"Will you be sad to leave Rosewood?" she asked him.

In one of their many conversations, he'd told her that by the beginning of fall next year he'd be in Philly. He'd surprised her even more by saying that he'd decided to go to Law school. Learning that Jason had graduated from college with a degree in pre-law and a minor in business had shocked her until Jason had explained to her that he'd gotten the minor in business to please his mother and the bachelors in pre-law to piss off his dad. At the end of college, he agreed to work with his dad to show him that he wasn't cut out for the DiLaurentis business. The truth was that he could run the business just fine, but it wasn't what he wanted to do. So after screwing up on several sites and pissing off some big clients of his dad's, Kenneth DiLaurentis had released him from working any longer than needed and that same day, Jason had applied for law school and had gotten a letter of acceptance a month later.

"I don't think I'll be sad per say, but…I'll have mixed emotions. Did you want to go ice skating? I know this lake out on Starr Road is frozen thick enough for us to skate if you're up to it."

"Do you have skates?"

Jason nodded with a smile, "If you're okay using Allison's old one then yeah, I do have skates."

"Allison skated?" Aria asked surprised.

He laughed, "There's so much between the two of us that we don't know about her. It's kind of sad, but did you wanna go anyways?"

"Yeah, let's do it."

* * *

Ezra slammed his car door shut.

This wasn't happening.

This wasn't happening!

He remembered her words leaving her lips perfectly…

_I'm pregnant Ezra. You're going to be a Daddy by next Christmas!_

They had to be the two malicious words ever combined with his name coming from Jackie's lips. She couldn't be pregnant! Looking down at the frozen lake from the wooden balcony in the park, Ezra rubbed his eyes. He'd forgotten protection the first night Jackie had stayed at his apartment. In the heat of the moment, it had slipped his mind and afterwards he'd assumed that she was protected.

Kicking the wooden post hard, Ezra swore softly. He was angry as hell at himself and at Jackie. They were goddamned adults and they forgot! Taking a deep breath, Ezra cringed when he heard her laughter. Any chance of ever being with Aria had been shot to hell. Looking down, he watched Aria glide across the ice. She called Jason's name and Ezra saw him come out onto the ice in his own skates and pass her.

Aria laughed and followed him.

It was too painful to watch. He wanted to be with her desperately, but Ezra knew that with every moment that passed, Aria was farther and farther away from him. Getting back in his car, he left hurting more than he had in a long time.

* * *

Aria laughed as Jason skated past her. The head lights from his Volvo illuminated the ice where they skated and reflected into the trees. She smiled as he skated backwards.

"Show off," she called.

Jason smiled, but as he took a turn, slipped and fell face forward.

Aria's heart stopped seeing him fall, "Jason!"

He wasn't moving and she quickly raced over to him. Kneeling down, she put her hand on his back and called his name again. Thinking fast, Aria used her weight to push him over and hit his chest hard as he laughed.

"That wasn't funny," she snapped at him, "I really thought you were hurt. You scared me."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. You should have seen the look on your face."

Aria looked genuinely upset and without thinking, Jason leaned up and kissed her.

It surprised her for a moment, but she quickly returned it. His lips were soft and warm, but with firmness to it that Aria could barely understand. All she knew was that she wanted to know more about his impossibly sweet lips. His leather gloved hand cupped the back of her neck while the other one snaked around her waist. She wondered what else he could do with his hands and lips as she cupped his cheeks.

Just as soon as the kiss began, it felt like it was over. Pulling back, they both panted. Her eyes didn't leave his and she found herself wanting to kiss him again and again until the end of time. There was just something about his kisses.

"I'm sorry that I scared you."

"Don't do it again," Aria said breathlessly.

"Have dinner with me on New Year's Eve," Jason asked quietly, "Be my girl at midnight so can kiss you and know your all mine."

"Only if you promise to only be mine beyond New Year's Eve," Aria whispered back smiling as she leaned back to kiss him again.

"I will always be yours," he mumbled right before his lips met hers again in a soft, unhurried kiss. Aria couldn't remember ever being so happy on Christmas Eve.

* * *

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